=== Update & Pray ===
Contributors: mediax
Tags: humor, simulator, updates, developer tools, admin
Requires at least: 6.5
Tested up to: 7.0
Requires PHP: 7.4
Stable tag: 1.0.1
License: GPLv2 or later
License URI: https://www.gnu.org/licenses/gpl-2.0.html

All the stress of a WordPress update. None of the consequences.

== Description ==

Update & Pray is a completely harmless WordPress update anxiety simulator.

It creates a dedicated admin experience containing simulated plugin entries, fictional and simulated update data, fictional compatibility warnings, fictional failures, and very real emotional recognition. It never updates or modifies installed plugins, themes, WordPress core, update transients, site files, frontend content, or site content. It creates no custom database tables and stores only its own settings and statistics in two normal WordPress options.

Choose an experience:

* Chill mode: every simulated update succeeds cleanly.
* Realistic mode: dramatic pauses and alarming notices, followed by success.
* Chaos mode: choose a fictional failure and watch a pretend rollback.
* Client Demo: technical-looking maintenance theatre suitable for a convincing progress screen.

Other features include:

* A curated catalog of simulated plugin entries, including a clearly simulated Hello Dolly entry.
* Random update batches and a Surprise me button.
* Fake changelogs and compatibility labels.
* An update anxiety meter with before-and-after scoring.
* A terminal-style progress log.
* Optional victory confetti with reduced-motion support.
* Persistent simulator statistics.
* Ten unlockable achievements.
* A therapy report and configurable simulation defaults.

The simulator is clearly labelled at all times. The only real data it stores consists of its own settings, statistics, and achievement progress in two WordPress options.

== Privacy ==

Update & Pray does not set cookies, track visitors, send telemetry, call external services, or add frontend output. It stores only simulator settings and aggregate simulator statistics in the local WordPress database. Uninstalling the plugin through WordPress removes those options.

== Installation ==

1. Upload the plugin ZIP through Plugins > Add New > Upload Plugin.
2. Activate Update & Pray.
3. Open Update & Pray in the WordPress admin menu.
4. Select simulated plugins, choose your emotional difficulty, and click the update button with unreasonable confidence.

== Frequently Asked Questions ==

= Does this update my real plugins? =

No. The simulator does not read, write, activate, deactivate, install, update, or delete any real plugin.

= Can it break my site? =

The simulator screen cannot break your site through its simulated updates because no update operation is performed. As with any software, test the plugin itself in your normal workflow before using it on a production site.

= Does Chaos mode create real errors? =

No. Errors, maintenance mode, failed downloads, database migrations, checkout problems, white screens, and rollbacks are all visual simulation content inside the plugin's dedicated admin page.

= What real data is stored? =

The plugin stores one settings option and one statistics option. Both are removed when the plugin is uninstalled through WordPress.

= Is this useful for anything besides a joke? =

It can be used for WordPress training, conference talks, agency demonstrations, tutorial recordings, client education, or gentle exposure therapy for developers who have deployed on a Friday.

== Screenshots ==

1. The dedicated update simulator with simulated plugin entries and four modes.
2. A realistic simulated update session.
3. Chaos mode with a selected fictional disaster.
4. The therapy report and achievement collection.
5. Simulator settings.

== Changelog ==

= 1.0.1 =

* Added self-hosted updater for the free plugin release.

= 1.0.0 =

* Initial release.
* Added Chill, Realistic, Chaos, and Client Demo modes.
* Added seventeen simulated plugin entries with changelogs, including Hello Dolly as presentation-only simulator data.
* Added nine configurable fictional failure scenarios.
* Added anxiety scoring, statistics, and ten achievements.
* Added accessibility support, reduced-motion handling, and clear simulation boundaries.
